This is my first spork. And yes, I will happily post my -OMG1STFFICEVA- if anyone would like to see it. I believe it's a rather cringey piece of Frerard written at the age of 12. Anyway.
Title: early morning
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Summary: "ROYAI! its a quik one and spelt rubbish there will be more . Roy and Riza stay late at the ofice and she thinks roys drunk by the actions he dose towards her." - The actions he dose towards her? He's medicating her with Chuck Norris? o.O
Characters: Roy M. & Riza H. Apparently. :|
Pairing: Royai. (That's a het pairing.)
Spelling and Grammar: None. Just... no.
Word Count: 469
Reviews: None, as of yet. It's only just been posted. Feel free to contribute.
Additional: This looks to be an -OMG1STFFICEVA-. The author has no other entries. Maybe we can stop her(?) before it's too late.
Rating: Using the rating system of the daily_badfic comm, I would give this... 3/4 - Awful.
FAN STORY FOR ROYAI! (No, it's a "fan story" for Fullmetal Alchemist. Royai is the pairing.) (sorry rubbish speller but you may be able to tell what i tryed to say) 'rubbish' doesn't cover it. And considering I have an account on ff.net, I think I should know that you have to write your story in a Word Processing Programme before it's allowed near the site. Therefore, there is no excuse not to use spellcheck.
she (Who?!) walked into the room closing te door behind her self. he (Who?! You can't be trying to be arty, you're too stupid.) looked up from his desk as she shut the door as she sees that she has destraced him from his piells of paper work she suluts sluts? him and says... What? There's no connection to the dialogue here. Also, that sentence was far too long. Far too long.
"sorry sir i forgot i had some ergent paper work to do i was planing to colect it and do it at home but since it looks like you need the company do i have permision to stay sir" she lowers her hand and waits patiently, whilst desperately gasping for breath in order to recover from the run-on sentence of doom. he gives a micives missive? I thought that was like a memo? smile and looks back down to his work - Yeah, 'cause Roy's in character. I assume it's Roy. Still haven't been given any names.
"sure lutent take a seat" she nods and pulls out a chair from under one of the large empty desks in the corner of the room. its late and only a few people remain at the ofices (I can only assume she means 'orifices'.) at this time of night. but beacause he has to catch up with the paper work he has to stay later then most and coming from the cournal this is a rear sight to see. (Yep, she was definitely referring to 'orifices'. Also, shouldn't he be on a date or something? And shouldn't Hawkeye be holding a gun to his head?)
"lutenent?" she looks over to the man who is still chaind down to his desk (Is he? Is he really?)
"yes cernol" she replies in her deap suductive womans voice (Because we all have one of those lying around at the workplace. Mine's in my locker.)
"good morning" she was taken back from these words but then asked (Again no connection to dialogue. Also, does anyone else get an image of Hawkeye being forcibly dragged away from some 'good morning' graffiti? Just me? Okay...)
"what do you mean sir" (No need for question marks when you're Australian! However, in pre-war Germany, I believe question marks are commonplace.)
"well it twellve in the morning" she looks back down to her papper work and sighs
"good morning sir" he looks at her puzzeld , stands up and gose over to her . (*Goose? They keep a goose at the office?)
even though she has quik reactions she dosn't notice the man that has just grabed her chin (Of course not. She's not one of the best soldiers in the Amestrian Army for nothing). her eyes widen in shock as she pulls out her gun and presses it to his temple... no?
"w-what is it cernol" she ansers trying to stay carm about the situation that has just arose. o.O
"lutenent one time i was thinking that you was my weakness but now i have lernt by being around you i have found out that your what making me go on" (We here switch to Riza's thoughts. Because the author thought it would be effective? No, because Roy has died of asphyxiation.) once again she was shoked (Choked? Stoked?) at what he was saying. did he get drunk at work, she said in her head and she douted it with the striked no alcohol policy and that he normaly dose someting stupid when drunk but holding her chin and saying such sweat words (Ew.) to her is also stupid.
"sir your drunk" (Your drunk? Roy keeps a drunk sitting around in the office? I'm sure that must be against regulations.) he sakes (NB - 'Sake' is not a verb.) his head a little and smiled
" im only drunk on love" and before she could speek again he place his lips on hers...
sorry i know i carn't spell and im 14 (Oh, she's only 14 people, be nice! Idfc. When I was 14, I knew how to spell 'deep'. And 'antidisestablishmentarianism'. Get a spell check. I weep for humanity.) so i should know how to spell simple words but i carn't even if i learnd them and i couldn't find gramma cheak or something. Spelling first. I can't even tell if your grammar is wrong, that's how bad your spelling is. The answer is MS word. Or any web browser that isn't IE. I'm assuming you have Internet access and a keyboard?
i love royai so i'll right more probs a continuas 1 . eny who thanks 4 readin. That was a beautiful ending, spoiled only by the fact that it looked more like a whiny, apologetic, misplaced author's note.