pervymonk (pervymonk) wrote in badfic,
pervymonk
pervymonk
badfic

Look at What I Found...

Ahhh...nostaligia. I rediscovered these shining gems while rifting through my Fanfiction.net account. It has everything a badfic could want, from typos to imanginary conversations and author insertion. (Although I digress. Being in writing is fun! You just have to do it incognito. XD) It even comes with the XxXx's for line breakers and all of it for free! I'll even throw in review-whoring!

Laugh at the 12-year-old writing style and thank the gods that I'm over it. ^__^

Title: Shuuichi's Mom and Hieilicious
Author's Name: Pervymonk
Name(s): Umm...N/A?
Fandom: Yu Yu Hakusho
Species:...
EyeColor:
Green.
Hair color: Dyed Red
Annoying Origin: A 12-year-old fanfic writer. ^__&
Annoying connections to canon Characters: Blackmailer and hardcore yaoi fan
Notes: Grammar errors and OOC-ness like whoa.


Written in 2004 and first posted in 2005!



“Hey, Kurama.” Yusuke greeted.


“Hello Yusuke.” Kurama smiled.


“I’m having a party at Kieko’s ramen house and I was hoping you and your family could come.” Kurama’s eyes brightened as he took the invitation.


“Thank you Yusuke. I’ll ask.” They went their separate ways and Yusuke grinned, clasping his hands in a Mr.Burns like fashion.


“Excellent……Muhahahahahahahah” He coughed and looked around to make sure no one was around. “Ahem. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhHahhhahaaaaa!”


Hiei looked down at the cackling spirit detective from his tree branch.


“Idiot.” He scoffed. Yusuke looked up and grinned.


“You’re gonna help me tonight, right Hiei?’


“ I have no choice, do I?”


“Ahh, I love blackmail.”


XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX


Everyone gathered into the ramen house.


“We’ve never had this many customers!” Kieko’s dad said gleefully.


“And its all thanks to Yusuke!” Kieko smiled at him. He smiled back. He loved Kieko, but there was someone he thought was really hot and didn’t get enough appreciation from her son’s friends.


“Shuuichi, where is Hiei?” Kurama’s mom asked.


“I don’t know.” Kurama said worriedly. “He said he’s be here. Kuwabara isn’t around either, I’m afraid.”


Everyone was seated and Yusuke gazed around. He saw black hair and grinned. He walked up on stage, adjusting his jacket. He was dressed casually, this was nothing fancy, really. But she would remember it forever……unless her brain went phhhhhhtttttt. But she wasn’t that old. Was she?


“Ahem, “ He spoke into the microphone.” Hey, everyone, thanks for coming. I’d like to sing a song to a special some one, some one who is really sexy. Hit it Kuwabara!” Stacy’s Mom by Fountains of Wayne filled the little noodle shop.


Shuuichi’s Mom has got it goin’ on


Shuuichi’s Mom has got it goin’ on


Shuuichi’s Mom has got it goin’ on


Shuuichi’s Mom has got it goin’ on


Shuuichi can I come over after school?” Kuwabara was playing the drums and spoke into his microphone.


After school”


We can hang by the po-oo-oo-ol”


Hang by the pool”


Did your mom get back from her business trip?’


Business trip”


Is she there or is she tryin to give me the sli-ii-ii-ip?”


Give me the slip?” Yusuke gulped as he saw Kurama’s pissed off look. There was a bass playing but no one could see who it was. Only Yusuke and Kuwabara knew.


You know I’m not the little boy that I used to be


I’m all grown up now, baby can’t you see?” The bass player walked on stage and it was none other than Hiei! (Who didn’t see that one coming?) He was dressed in black leather jeans with a blue muscle shirt that said Fountains of Wayne on it.


“Hiei!” Kurama exclaimed. All three of them sang.


Shuuichi’s Mom has got it goin’ on


She’s all I want and I’ve waited for so long


Shuuichi can’t you see, you’re just not the gir-guy for me


I know it might be wrong but I’m in love with


Shuuichi’s Mom


Shuuichi’s Mom has got it goin’ on


Shuuichi’s Mom has got it goin on” Yusuke grinned at the crowd, who was laughing their asses off.


Shuuichi, do you remember when I mowed your lawn?” This time Hiei did the echo and he didn’t seem to happy about it.


Mowed your lawn.”


“Yusuke hates physical labor.” Kieko muttered, looking pissed off. He was going to get SO many slaps for this.


Your mom came out, with just a towel ah-ah-ah-ah-on”


Towel on.”


“YOU WISH, ASSHOLE!” Kurama yelled jokingly, although he knew Yusuke thought he was angry. He’d messed with his mind. Shiori was blushing, with her hands up to her face. Yusuke sweatdropped and moved to the side of the stage away from Kurama.


I could tell she liked me by the way she stared


And the way she said, ‘You missed a spot over there-air-air-air’


And I know that you think its just a fantasy


But since your dad walked out your mom could use a guy like me” Yusuke pulled an Axel Rose move. (1)


Shuuichi’s Mom has got it goin’ on


She’s all I want and I’ve waited for so long


Shuuichi can’t you see, you’re just not the gir-guy for me


I know it might be wro-on-on-ong


Shuuichi’s Mom has got it goin on


She’s all I want and I’ve waited for so long


Shuuichi can’t you see, you’re just not the gir-guy for me


I know it might be wrong but


I’m in love with Shuuichi’s Mom.” Everyone burst into appuluse, save for a pissed off brunette schoolgirl.


“Thank you everyone! Good night!” Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei bowed and walked off stage. Kurama came up to them.


“Oh shit.” Yusuke said, hiding behind Hiei.


“Yusuke, I’m not angry, though I am a little pissed about the gir-guy thing.”


“So you won’t kill me?”


‘Not tonight. Hiei, you looked so kawaii.” Kurama teased. Hiei blushed. “Why’d you help Yusuke anyway? I didn’t peg you as the type to help with jokes.”


“It wasn’t a joke.” Yusuke defended. “Your mom is really hot!”


“Yusuke,” Kurama’s eyes flashed gold. “You’re pushing it.”


“Right. Sorry.”


“Hn. I’ll tell you later, kitsune.” Yusuke had snuck off because he saw Kieko coming and saw the raven haired hottie of his dreams. He walked over to her.


“So, Ms.M, how’s ya like the song?” She blushed.


“It was very sweet of you, Yusuke, though God knows I’m past my prime.”


“Bull. Say, hows about you and me go get a cup of coffee and-“


“YUSUKE!” Two voice yelled.


“Err…” He turned and saw Kieko and Kurama.


“You pervert!” Kieko slapped him repeatedly while Kurama grinned evilly. Oh yes, revenge will be mine…He thought it was slightly funny but he drew the line at hitting on his mom. She was about to be married too!


XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX


Later, Hiei and Kurama were sitting and watching the sunset.


“So, Hiei, you never told me why you agreed to help Yusuke.” Hiei blushed.


“….He blackmailed me.” Kurama raised his eyebrows.


“Oh? How so?”


“….He threatened to tell who I liked.”


“Liked? Oh my-you have a crush! Who is it? Tellmetellmetellmetellme!” As Kurama begged, Hiei finally told him to get him to shut up.


“All right, all right! Arggg! …….”After looking to make sure no one was listening he said softly “Kuwabara.” Kurama blinked. O-o Then he broke out laughing.


“Ahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahahahaahahaha!”


“SHUT UP KITSUNE!”


“Ahahahahahahahahahahah! Kuwabara! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA!” Kurama had tears falling from his eyes. When he finally stopped lauging, he said


“Man, you guys are gonna have butt ugly kids.” Then he burst out laughing again.


XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX


“Help? Anyone?” Yusuke called as he hung from the wall. Kurama and Kieko had duck taped him to the outside of the ramen shop in his underwear. Breifs, not boxers. Damn, it was cold out! The tape was goona hurt like a bitch when it came off.


“Hiei! No!” He heard Kurama’s voice. Hiei stalked up, pissed off. Kurama was in his boxers over Hiei’s shoulder, his face red for laughing. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!”


“Hn.” Hiei duck taped him next to Yusuke and disappeared.


“HIEI! YEAH, GO FIND KUWABAKA AND WOO HIM! Damn….” Kurama slumped against the wall.


“So, why are you here, you asshole?” Yusuke asked.


“…I made fun of his crush?”


“Oh. Funny, isn’t it?”


“Fucking hilarious.” After a moment they both shook their heads and said


“Kuwabara.” After a few minutes of deafing silence, Yusuke began to sing.


Shuuchi’s Mom has got it goin’ on


Shuuchi’s Mom has got it goin’ on”


“Shut up, Yusuke.” Kurama said in an irritable tone.


“No way dude, I’m gonna sing this all night long!


Shuuchi’s Mom has got it goin’ on”


“NOOOOOOOOOOOWOOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHH!”


XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX


“Hey, koi, did you hear something?” Kuwabara asked Hiei. Hiei stopped nuzzling his neck and smirked.


“no….what I don’t hear is you moaning.”


And so, Kurama was tortured by Yusuke’s new hit single and Hiei and Kuwabara got it on.


FIN


XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX


1-you know, where he did that circular pelvic thrust thing to the microphone? Yeah…


PM: So, what do you think?


Kuwabara:barfing:


Yusuke: I’m a rockstar!


Kurama: How do you know I wear boxers?


PM:Whistles innocently: I don’t stalk you….


Kurama: O-o


Hiei:;kills PervyMonk, walks off:


PM: Bleh…-


Yusuke: Oh my God you killed PervyMonk!


Kurama: You bastard! Wait……do we even care?


Yusuke: Not really.


Kurama: Hey, want a smoothie?


Yusuke: You’re buyin.


Kurama: Aw man,….


PM’s Ghost: The smoothie thing is an inside joke between me, Sickkicks and MasterofShadows. (My cousins) Review……..or else no cookie for you.





Hieilicious- adj. 1. Being sexylicious like Hiei

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hiei walked into the ramen shop, five sheets of paper clutched in his angry little hand. He saw who he was looking for and sat down, glaring sourly at them.

“What the hell is this?” He demanded, throwing them in front of the figure.

“Hm?” They looked up. “Hey now!” They scooped them up, cradling them. “No need to treat my genius in such a way….you’re just jealous….”

“Your genius is a piece of crap!Me and Kuwabara, PervyMonk! KUWABARA!” PervyMonk looked around nervously. People began to stare.

“Quiet, Hiei!”

“YOU’RE LUCKY I DON’T FRY YOU WHERE YOU STAND!”

“…Actually, I’m sitting….”

“YOU DAMN MOTHER F-“ PervyMonk smacked him upside the head.

“Watch your bitchass mouth!”

“HN! I’LL SWEAR ALL I WANT, YOU &()&($&&()&( &$)&&)SON OF A ( &()$&(& &WAD&&)&(& &&)(&& ()&)&()( CK!” PervyMonk’s eyes were wide.

“Interesting…vocabulary….”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next scene shows that PervyMonk and Hiei got booted out of the ramen shop…..

Literally.

“Ow….me bum.” PervyMonk said, rubbing her butt. Hiei stood and glared.

“Bitch.”

“I mean it…….do you really think that of me?”

“Hn! You’re lucky I don’t Dragon of the Darkness Flame your ass…….stupid bitch.”

“THAT IS IT,MISTER!” PervyMonk had had it with Hiei’s abuse. Calling her a bitch…..saying a bunch of unrepeatable obscenities….slipping alcohol into her eggnog at the Christmas party and dragging her to the closet and...ahem. Eyeah…..

And she told him so.

“I have had it with your abuse! Calling me a bitch…..saying a bunch of unrepeatable obscenities….slipping alcohol into my eggnog at the Christmas party and dragging me to the closet and...” They both blushed.

“You said you wouldn’t mention that.” Hiei groaned.

“But that was the best night of my life…..ahem. Eyeah…..Anyways, I will get my revenge!”

“Pshaw, whatever.” Hiei disappeared.

“DAMNS YOU, HIEI JAGANSHI! DAMNS YOU!” Little did the Jaganshi know how bad an authoress’ wrath could be…..

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurama was bent over his desk, hard at work. He was in his forest green room.

“Kura-chan!” He heard a soft voice sing. He turned and sighed.

“Yes, PervyMonk?” PervyMonk grinned, her dyed red hair falling into her green eyes, making her into a creepy Kurama look-a-like that looks more like Ozzy Ozbourne.

“I need your help with something.”

“I can’t help you with your Algebra, PervyMonk. I have my own school work and-“

“School work! Its summer, you Melvin!”

“Yes…..well…” She cleared her throat and began pacing around the room.

“It seems that I have had a spat with Hiei….”

“Over what?”

“My genius.”

“Oh, you mean that awful parody? We all want to kill you for that.” PervyMonk pouted but continued.

“I need you to help me.”

“I’m not going to help you.” He said flatly.

“But you will…..”

“No I won’t…”

“But You will…”

“NO!” She sighed. “I need revenge on Hiei.” He groaned again.

“Again! What now! Did he get you drunk and sleep with you?”

“He did that at Christmas, remember?” Kurama looked up.

“What!”

“Anyways, I need you help really, really bad……Hiei is such a little ass…”

He did WHAT at Christmas!” PervyMonk ignored him.

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssseeeeeeee help me, Kurama-chan?”

“…….No.”

“But-“

“No!”

“You shall be my leverage! HI-YAH!” She jumped up and Karate chopped him on the back of the head.

“OW!” He held his head and glared at her. She blinked.

“Umm…..can you just get on the floor and pretend you got knocked out?”

“No.”

Pervymonk sighed and looked off to the side dramatically.

“I hoped it would not have to come to this…….”

“Come to what?”

“If you DON’T help me, I’ll glomp you.” Kurama’s eyes narrowed.

“You. Wouldn’t. Dare.”

“Of course I would!” She beamed. “Pucker up, lover boy!”

“No! No! KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!”

Pervymonk blinked.

“Are you trying to be William Shatner again?”

“….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later

PervyMonk worked diligently on a ransom note to Hiei. Pieces of magazine were in the paste. Kurama walked up, rubbing his wrists, which were red from rope burn.

“Cut and paste? That’s so juvenile.”

“Shut up or I’ll glomp you again.”

“Moot point. I think I’m immune.” He said smugly.

“Okay, how would you like it if I brought your hair care products into this?”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”

PervyMonk twitched and smacked him.

“You’re such a little queen!”

“NOOOOOOOOO- I’m a what?” He asked dangerously.

“That’s, right. Queen. You’re the biggest queen of Japan.”

“DEATH-!” Pervymonk kissed his cheek. He crumbled to the ground.

“Immune my ass.” She held up her note, admiring her handiwork. “Now, Hiei Jaganshi, revenge shall be mine! AAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!” Cough. “ HAHAHAHA” Cough” AHAHAH” Cough ”Screw it!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hiei was sleeping in a tree when he sat up.

“My Kurama sense is tingling!” Looking around like a gopher, he felt something smack him. “Ow!”

“Hieiman!” He turned and saw a figure dressed in green on a floating hover…..thing!

“What are you, a hobbit?” It twitched and began throwing green bombs at him/.

“I am not a hobbit! I am the Green Goblin!” Dun dun dun!

Intermission!

PervyMonk, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei and Kurama were all in PervyMonk’s room. Kurama was flipping through Gentlemen’s Quarterly, Yusuke was flipping through Playboy, Hiei and Kuwabara were sparring and PervyMonk was yelling at the latter two.

CRASH!

“Stop breaking my shit!”

Yusuke looked up.

“Hey, Pervymonk, can’t you get sued for all the crap you used in this?”

“ Ch. They ain’t got nothing on me, yo! Home slice diggity dog chili cheese biscuit.”

O-o All of a sudden, men in black suits came crashing through her window.

“AAAAAAAAAH! What the hell!”

“Seems someone is suing you.” Kurama stated, turning another page.

“What’d I do!”

“PervyMonk, you are being sued by Marvel for the use of the Green Goblin, Yoshihiro Togashi for the use of Yu Yu Hakusho, J. R.R Tolkien for the use of ‘hobbit’ and by use for the use of men in black.”

“WTF! Isn’t J.R.R Tolkien dead! And, I said Men in Black suits, asswipes!” One of them blinked.

“Yeah, well, you’re still being sued.”

“All right, all right, I’ll change it. Damn communists.”

“Told ya.” Yusuke said, taking another sip of soda.

End Transmission

Anyways

“Hieiman!” He turned to see a figure dressed in green on a floating hover….thing!

“Who are you?”

“Its is I! The Green Boblin!” (Take THAT you damn commis! )

“What the hell’s a Boblin?”

“A deceive to stop PervyMonk from getting sued!”

“….kay. I’ll just destroy you with my Fist of the Mortal Flame!”

“AH! Son of a biznotch! This wasn’t part of my job description!” Throwing a letter to Hiei, the Green “Boblin” flew off. Hiei caught the note. In the background, the Green Boblin was incinerated. On the back, the envelope was sealed by a red wax skull. Opening it, he read the contents.

“Cut and paste? How juvenile.”

Dear Mr.Jaganshi,

I hold you in the highest respect and I do hope that you follow my command, or else! ahem I would like you to sing a song, a wonderful song for all the world (well, at least the Yukimura Ramen shop) to hear. I would hate to have to harm the beautiful, talented Kurama Daae.

Sincerely

P. O. O

 

“Poo!” (That’s not mine. I nicked that from the play, House of Frankenstein. Muwahahaha.) Then he read the fine print! (Dun dun dun!)

P.s: I will make Kurama my foxy love slave forevah if you do not comply!

WHAT?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

insert Phantom of the Opera music Pervymonk strolls across her room, dressed as Phantom of the Opera.

“Dun! Dun dun dun dun dun! Dun dun dun dun dun! Dun dun dun dun dun! Dun dun! Dee dee dee! Dee dee dee dee dee! Dee dee! Dee dee dee dee dee! De-“ (do that to the Phantom of the Opera music)

“Knock it off!” Kurama snapped.

“Ah, but Christine-“

“$&(&()&&! Pervymonk, let me go!” She laughed.

“Alas, but I can not. Your fate is here, with me, in the catacombs of the Opera de Populair!” she kissed his (tied) hand.

“….Stop cosplaying. I mean it. You’re scaring me.”

“Sing for me, my angel of music!”

“COSPLAYING FREAK!” Kurama and his chair that he was tied to hopped away.

“Oh, Christine!”

“I don’t know you!”

“Come! Live with me as one!”

“Knock it off, PervyMonk!”

“Chri-“ A lock of red hair floated in the wind landing on the ground between them.

“…OHMIGOD, I’M GOING BALD!’ Kurama shrieked.

“Silence!...I think….thats….my…hair….”

“AAAAAAH! You’re turning evil!”

“I am not!” Phanto-errm PervyMonk snapped. “its…just…”

“We all know the villains go bald! Haven’t you seen Bo-bo-bo-bo Bo-bo-bo!”

“Ermmm…..”

“EVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLL!”

“Dude, shut up, you’ll wake my parents up!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hiei was backstage with a snickering Yusuke and Kuwabara.

“Shut your faces, ningens, before I shut them for you.”

“What, no making sweet, sweet love to Kuwabara?” Yusuke asked. Hiei glared.

“I’m going to kill you.” Kuwabara yarfed.

“DUDE! MY SHOES!”

“How I love the sweet stench of revenge…..”

“…Sorry guys. I ate chili last night.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There was a buzz of excitement in the ramen house. A mysterious shadowed figure was going to perform. In the center, no one seemed to notice a huge chair with an insane PervyMonk who didn’t look like PervyMonk at all. She was now bald and looked like Dr.Evil and her eyes an evil sort of evil. She was even wearing the silver jumpsuit! She was petting a cat and cooing at it.

“I love you, Mr.Bigglesworth. You’ll never hurt me, will you?”

Next to her was Kurama, tied and bound. He looked like Foxy Cleopatra from Goldmember. Except he wasn’t black……and he had a red ‘fro. How no one noticed this was beyond me, but you know. Music started to play and Hiei, looking like Austin Powers, began to sing

Kurama, can you handle this?
Yusuke, can you handle this?”
He winced at this next line and said it monotonously.


”Kuwabara, can you handle this?
I don't think they can handle this!

Barely move, we've arrived
Lookin sexy, lookin fly
Baddest demon, demon inside
DJ, jam tonight
Spotted me a tender thang
There you are, come on baby
Don't you wanna dance with me
Can you handle, handle me

You gotta do much better if you gone dance with me tonight
You gotta work your jelly if you gone dance with me tonight
Read my lips carefully if you like what you see
Move, groove, prove you can hang with me
By the looks I got you shook up and scared of me
Hook up your seatbelt, it's time for takeoff

I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this
Cause my body too Hieilicious for ya babe

I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this
Cause my body too Hieilicious for ya babe

Baby, can you handle this?
Baby, can you handle this?
Baby, can you handle this?
I don't think you can handle this!

I'm about to break you off
Hiei-town goin hard
Lead my hips, slap my thighs
Swing my hair, square my eyes
Lookin hot, smellin good
Groovin like I'm from the hood
Look over my shoulder, I blow you a kiss
Can you handle, handle this

I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this
Cause my body too Hieilicious for ya babe

I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this
Cause my body too Hieilicious for ya babe

Move your body up and down (whoo!)
Make your booty touch the ground (whoo!)
I can't help but wonder why (whoo!)
Is my Dragon of The Darkness Flame too DragonoftheDarknessFlamealacious for you, babe

I shake my jelly at every chance
When I whip with my hips you slip into a trance
I'm hoping you can handle all this jelly that I have
Now let's cut a rug while we scat some jazz

I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this
Cause my body too Hieilicious for ya babe!”

Hiei ceased his freak dancing or….”shaking of his thang” and hopped off stage. There were cheers and laughter, but Hiei Powers didn’t notice them at all. All He saw was Kurama. He ran over and untied him.

“Hiei!” Kurama cried and flung himself into his arms. PervyMonk was sitting in her Big Chair o Doom, looking stunned. Hiei nuzzled Kurama’s hair as Kurama kissed his neck. He looked up at PervyMonk.

“Why’d you do it, PervyMonk? Why go to the dark side?” Her eyes grew shiny, she went chibi….

And she began to cry.

“You h-hu-hurt my feelings!” She bawled. “Granted, you had e-every r-r-ight to be m-m-m-mad but those things y-y-you called me!” As she cried, her hair grew back and she lost the silver jumpsuit. She looked like PervyMonk again….except she was chibi. Hiei blinked and Kurama looked up at him.

“Hiei! What did you say?”

“well…I said her genius was a piece of crap….she was a damn mother shut yo mouth….&()&($&&()&( &$)&&)son of a ( &()$&(& &wad&&)&(& &&)(&& ()&)&()( ck, and a bitch.” Every one had ceased talking and was gaping at Hiei.

“Whoa…I didn’t even know most of those words.” Yusuke stated.

“Do you kiss Kurama with that mouth?” Kuwabara asked, astonished. Kurama smacked Hiei upside the head.

“No wonder she went evil!”

“Well…she’s just PMSing. If she had been normal, she would have called me something back.” Chibi PervyMonk smacked Hiei and continued to cry.

“D’oh!” Hiei was on the ground with swirly eyes. Kurama was hugging a Chibi PervyMonk.

“That’s no reason to go to the dark side, PervyMonk.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes.

“I know…..I’m sworry….”

“AWWWWWWWWW!” Kurama cuddled her. “You’re SO kawaii!” Everyone else sweatdropped.

Epilogue

Kurama was beside his koi, Hiei. Between them was a chibi PervyMonk.

“Hn. When is she going back to normal?”

“…Who knows. This must be divine punishment for her crimes.”

“Hn!” Kurama pinched his cheek.

“Oh, come on, Hiei! You know you like being a daddy!’ Hiei smirked.

“Yeah…Your daddy.” Kurama blushed.

Hiei and Kurama gazed at the chibi Pervymonk that was sleeping between them.

“Well, whatever.” Hiei was about to lean over and kiss Kurama when said redhead asked

“Hiei, do you want children?” Hiei blinked once…..twice……

“…Why do you ask? Do you want some?”

“..Yes.” Hiei grinned wolfishly.

“Well, lets get crackin’!” He declared, pouncing on the sexy redhead.

“ACK! Hiei, we’re both men!”

“So? That shouldn’t stop you from experiencing carrying a child.”

“Why am I always the woman?”

“Same reason you’re always uke!”

“I was talking about adopting!” Hiei kissed Kurama’s neck.

“…Can we still go through the process?”

“We’ll wake up PervyMonk!”

“No we won’t! She can sleep through anything!” They heard a loud pop and turned to see a normal PervyMonk sitting cross-legged on the bed. She grinned.

“…Can it be a threesome?”

“Get out.” The both said, pointing at the door.

“Fine, fine but are you sure you guys don’t want anything to drink? I mean, to keep you hydrated and all.” Kurama smiled.

“How sweet of you, PervyMonk.” She beamed.

“I know.”

“Hn. All right, but make it fast.”

‘Aye, aye sir!”

Downstairs…….

Pervymonk poured alcohol into both glasses, grinning evilly and rubbing her hands together. Then the screen fades out……….

Fin?

PM: I thought that went pretty well.

Hiei: You are the biggest bitch ever.

PM: Am I a bitch with privileges?

Hiei: >storms off, smoking coming from arm

PervyMonk was in her room when the men in black suits crashed through her window again.

“What the-?”

“PervyMonk, you are being sued by the following-Marvel™ (again), the creators of Austin Powers, Phantom of the Opera, Destiny’s Child and Yoshihiro Togashi(again) And yo momma!”

“WHAT! NOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAH!”

Hope you liked! Rewiew…..rewiew…




*sigh* I should be ashamed, shouldn't I? (I still love KuwabaraXHiei.)

Let the snarking commence!

Monk
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